Kentucky vacation

Our goal with summer vacation this year was to visit my grandparents.  The bonus is that they now live in the same town as two of my aunts and an uncle, plus my parents came with us, so it ended up being a half-of-the-family-ish reunion!

Four generations:)

We had a great time hanging with family, eating the delicious food that always seems to surround them, and showing off the boys.  We also visited the zoo, two pools, and a new walking bridge/park area.  It was not, however, an extremely relaxing vacation, which Hubby T and I blame squarely on these little munchkins.

I am 14 months!  I bring mayhem, destruction and cuteness wherever I go!!

Splash park at the zoo

I tell myself that someday they will be older and will amuse themselves at the pool while Hubby T and I kick back in lounge chairs and read.  Or maybe they'll kick back and read with us.  But for now, being on vacation is kind of like being at home - constant vigilance! 

My leg is stuck...but not for long!

Until, that is, they collapse as all young children eventually do...

Catch you again soon Louisville!  The boys had too much fun with their new buds to stay away for long;)

Guilt

I have been feeling guilty lately.  White-upper middle class-first world-educated-employed-have everything I need and a safety net kind of guilt.  Normally I think about this when I get focused on how much I want a new purse or nicer furniture or a bigger house, the kind of things that would be nice to have but can or should I really spend money on them when there are so many starving children in the world?  But lately, lately the news, and my guilt, is hitting home on a whole new level.  Because "my" people are being terrorized.  People who believe in the same God, in the same Christ that I believe in are being terrorized for precisely those beliefs.  Who am I, that I was born into a country that cherishes freedom of religion and they were born into a country torn apart by religion?  I try to put myself in their place.  How would I react if armed militants barged into my house, demand that I convert to Islam or be killed?  The idea of such a thing happening in my country is so absurd that I am dumbfounded.  How can anyone possibly think that is acceptable behavior?  And yet it's happening.  And now these people, my people, are trapped on a mountain.  Are they taking refuge in God, as the Bible teaches us to do?  Is their faith making their trial any easier?  Can they feel the prayers that Christians around the world are saying for them?  Do our prayers make any difference?

I sat safely ensconced between my grandparents at Mass this morning, a rare but special occasion for me.  And we sang a hymn called "Be Not Afraid,"

You shall cross the barren desert, but you shall not die of thirst.
You shall wander far in safety though you do not know the way.
You shall speak your words in foreign lands and all will understand.
You shall see the face of God and live.
Be not afraid.  I go before you always.
Come, follow me, and I will give you rest.

I couldn't help but put myself in the shoes of the Yazidi and wonder if the words of this song would mean anything if I was on that mountain with them.  The words are illogical, especially, I imagine, to those who are literally starving and dehydrated.  Yet I believe in a God that makes these words true. Somehow, though its hard to imagine how, I believe God is sustaining and strengthening my brothers and sisters in Christ.  Through the horror and the fear and the sadness.  Because let's face it, it's not like God hasn't seen this kind of suffering in the world before.  And it's not like we Christians haven't ever been the perpetrators (again, back to the guilt....)

So where does that leave me?  Besides fervently praying for those people and then returning to my very privileged life?  Probably because I'm so comfortable in my own life, there aren't many times when I pray for Christ's return.  But in the face of suffering like this, my heart can't help it...

Come, Lord Jesus, Come.

Who wore it better?

Once upon a time, long long ago, I was able to sit around and watch TV after dinner.  And sometimes I would watch E! News.  (Let it be noted that I am extremely grateful to now have other, more meaningful things to fill my evenings;)  They used to show a segment called "Who Wore It Better" where they would show two celebrities wearing the same article of clothing and ask people on the street who they thought wore the clothes better.  As Baby P keeps growing into Little B's hand-me-downs at astonishing speed I often find myself wondering, who wore it better?  (In case clarification is needed, Little B is on the left and Baby P on the right.)

I finally have time to write again!

A couple of days ago I was walking out of Costco with an overflowing cart, including my two little boys crammed into the seats of the cart (yes, Costco carts have room for two kids in the front seat, genius).  We passed a woman in the parking lot who had a little girl with her who was probably about ten.  The woman aww'd at my boys and as we walked past she nostalgically said, "I miss those days, but at the same time, I don't,".  I smiled and laughed because although I am on the opposite side of her statement I knew exactly what she meant.

My boys are now three and a half and one.  Baby P is literally stumbling his way into toddler-hood with amazing speed.  At the same time, I feel like Little B is on a precipice, anticipating all the growth and changes that will come when he starts preschool in the fall, and on some level I think he knows big change is coming too.  They are both becoming capable of doing so many things, yet at the same time my heart panics anytime we are near water because there is so much they are still not capable of.  Our days are filled with joy filled beautiful moments and deep sigh inducing frustrations, continually admonishing Little B not to knock his brother down from behind, or into hard objects, while simultaneously making room and time to read as Baby P picks up books from the book shelf, stumbles with them into our laps and settles in to be read to.  I spend my days making three different meals for every meal (one for Hubby T and me, a gluten-free meal for Little B and a meal that can be eaten with only two teeth for Baby P), trying to keep an energetic bursting with life three year old happy and occupied now that Little D isn't around to play with (at least on a regular basis), counting the minutes until it's time to put Baby P down for a nap so that I can have a little bit of a break, and then counting the minutes again until it's time for him to wake up so I can see his beautiful smile (who needs a break from this anyway?)

 My second semester of school was much harder but still incredibly rewarding.  I'm impatient to learn more but equally grateful for the break.  I'm impatient to put all I'm learning into practice but equally grateful that I don't hold all that responsibility yet.  I'm searching for new food inspiration (somehow almost all the food blogs I follow have dried up, any suggestions?) while enjoying some summer favorites (we had Greek Panzanella tonight, awesomely amazing every time).  I'm wrestling with all the clothes in my closet that no longer fit my post baby body and still struggling, a year later, to accept how I've changed.  I'm trying to reach out to mom friends who I've met in past months to build new relationships, to be a blessing to them, and to find new friends for my kids (we may actually have a birthday party with friends for Little B next year!)  I'm staying up later each night with Hubby T (working our way through Season 6 of Mad Men) and "sleeping in" until six am when Baby P wakes up, but somehow partly wishing I still had that 5:30 alarm so that I would have time to do my bible study and quiet time before the boys wake up.  I am anticipating Vacation Bible School at church, a weekend trip to the beach with college friends, and a week out of town to visit family later this summer.  My cup truly, in any and all ways you want to interpret it, runneth over. 

All this to say, while it may be summer and Hubby T may be home from work more and the heat and humidity may make me feel a bit sluggish, life is moving onward.  And we're moving along with it with a mindful appreciation for all we have, hope for all that is to come, and faith that God will meet us there.

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock..." Matthew 7: 24-25 

Gardening woes

I was so excited for Little B to pick our very first cherry tomato tonight...

But that's about as far as my garden excitement goes.  My garden was thriving a week ago but now my squash leaves are wilting and all the flowers are shriveling up and falling off...

And my sunflowers look diseased...

So depressing!  I water the plants every evening, maybe I should water more or at a different time of day?  Any thoughts on what's wrong?!

Modern dads

Yesterday I heard an interview on NPR about working dads.  They interviewed a working father whose blogging career took off when he posted a photo of himself on social media wearing his baby daughter in a baby carrier while doing his older daughter's hair.  Apparently this picture evoked a wide range of reaction, from incredibly positive to incredibly negative.  My response was surprise that this kind of picture would even cause such a reaction.  What's unusual about a dad wearing his baby in a baby carrier?  What's remarkable about a dad doing his daughter's hair?  I think the answer is that even two generations ago, this probably was extremely rare and our society as a whole is still getting used to the idea of dads who are intimately involved in their children's lives.

I won't go into a diatribe of how parenting has changed in the past few decades and all the societal changes that surround it.  But next week I'm going to be driving an hour away from home everyday to attend class.  I'll leave shortly after the boys wake up and not be back until dinner time.  I realize this is a regular day for most working parents, but it's incredibly strange for me.  Fortunately this week coincides with the first week of Hubby T's summer vacation so he'll be home with the boys all day.  By himself.  He's going to have longer days with them than even I normally have.  For someone who's not used to entertaining a baby and toddler all day every day, this is going to be a bit of a culture shock.  I told him the other night that I think next week is going to be really hard for him.  His response?  "I think it's going to be awesome."

So Happy Father's Day to you Hubby T.  Thank you for embracing your role of father, for so willingly taking on my roles on top of yours, for looking forward to six straight days of diaper changing, lego playing, cooking, cleaning, entertaining, the list goes on and on.  You grew up with the saying, "When mom's away the boys will play."  Have fun my boys...but hopefully not too much fun without me;)  

In my brother's room

(Too cute not to post...he does this all the time:)

There are many places in the house that are off limits to Baby P.  Like it or not, that's just what happens when he insists on lifting up the toilet lid and playing with the water, shaking the bedside table until the lamp on the table falls down, climbing on the elliptical machine until it start moving (!), pulling tissues out of the tissue boxes...you get the idea.  So poor little Baby P has been generally limited to playing in two rooms upstairs: his and his brothers.  Can you guess which one is his favorite?

Not only are there awesome windows to look out, I can stand on this handy car tower here to get a better view!

Hey look, I'm taller!  And I can almost reach all the toys my brother puts on his bed so I can't play with them!

There are all kinds of cool toys to put in my mouth.

Ooh look, there's some more!

Well, ok, maybe I'll be happy with baby toys after all

See you next time!