My head hurts

I've been trying to think all week of how I want to write about this week.  At this point all I can say is that my head hurts (in a good way, if there is such a thing).  I have spent every afternoon all week sitting in class with about ten other fantastic and inspiring women wrestling our way through to understand the first five books of the Old Testament.  There are sweeping narrative stories of Abraham, Jacob, Joseph and Moses in Genesis and Exodus.  There are strange, detailed rituals in Leviticus.  There are seemingly archaic, confusing laws in Numbers.  Quite honestly, at this point, I can't even remember what Deuteronomy is about.  There is so much to learn and so little time in which to learn it.  Even after attending and learning in church my entire life, and reading and studying for hours and hours upon hours for the last four semesters, I basically feel like I know next to nothing.

And then there's the rest of my life, which I have blessedly had a break from for the few days, as Hubby T and the boys are staying with his parents up north.  As nice as it is to come home, make a quiet, simple dinner, and watch Once Upon a Time until I'm ready for bed, there is a huge hole in my heart and my arms feel incredibly empty in the absence of my two little ones.  And we're still waiting for the house to sell.  And eagerly anticipating but not yet planning all the other pieces of a new life that we will have to figure out once we can move forward.

So my head hurts.  My weeks on campus leave me exhausted and exhilarated and inspired and humbled. Thank goodness that in every way I am not alone in this grad school journey.  Thank goodness tomorrow is the last day of class.  And thank goodness that in the midst of all the overwhelming confusion, one message shines through.  God loves God's people.  God loves me.  And for tonight I think I will just rest in that.