Home

When I was growing up, a decorative plaque hung on one of our walls which said, "Home is where the Navy sends you."  And this was true, it had to be true, for a family that was uprooted and moved around at someone else's will.  And after going through what I've been through this summer I have no idea how my mom did it (or any military wife, past or present, for that matter).  What I realize now is that I probably internalized the attitude presented on that plaque at an early age.  Moves happen.  You make the best of them.  Home isn't determined by others.  It is determined and created by you.

I've been thinking a lot about home this summer.  Probably because we sold one.  And are in the process of buying another.  And are living in yet another in the meantime.  And none of them are truly my home.  It's a strange limbo kind of place to be in and is definitely taking its toll on the state of my general well being.  So the little boys and I sought refuge in yet another home last week, the home I (mostly) grew up in and where my parents still live.  One of my self-imposed tasks of the week was to clean out what was left in my closet and my dresser, the last remaining momentos of my childhood that had been deemed important enough to keep but not important enough to bring with me after college.  I found some pretty awesome gems from my 90's childhood...

Anyone else miss the my-taste-buds-didn't-know-any-better awesomeness of the personal pan pizzas we got from participating in this program?!

These make me want to read the American Girl and Babysitter's Club books all over again!

And lots of reminders of the angst and uncomfortable process of "growing up"...

The back brace I wore for almost a year in middle school, a futile effort to manage my scoliosis

Almost all of these journals are from my college years - I guess I had a lot to process and pray about!

While moving all the times we did had its downsides, I can also look back on the school projects and the folded notes that were passed around during class and the yearbook comments from long forgotten classmates and realize that I have been well loved and that each home I lived in is part of who I am today.  And that gives me hope that this limbo time I'm in now will pass.  Someday I'll know exactly where I'm going when I set out in my car, someday I'll know where everything I want is in the grocery store, someday I'll be able to check out library books again, someday we'll have friends to have play dates with again, someday this new place will feel like home.  And in the meantime, I keep turning in my mind to Jude 2 (random, I know) - "Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance."  In Abundance.  Don't we all need these in abundance?  If you are the praying sort, please pray for me friends.  There's another whole month to go before we can even begin settling in our new home, and it's hard to truly rest in what you know to be a temporary home.  And while you're at it, give some thought to refugees in places like the Middle East, who truly don't have a home or any hope of one in sight.  Mercy God, or as a good friend puts it, grace please.

(Sorry for the doom and gloom here.  Life's not really so bad but it has its moments and today was one of them.  I'll try to share some of the fun things we've been doing to pass the time soon!)