Peace

When I had to move across country between my junior and senior year of high school, a friend gave me a wall hanging with Jeremiah 29:11 printed on it: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  It was a very comforting verse at the time, when my life was being turned upside down, and during all the difficult times of my life since then

So when the verse came up in my bible study this morning, part of me sighed and thought, oh geez, not this verse again.  I get it already!  But, in an amazing moment that reminds you to never think you have God or His word figured out, the verse was presented in the King's James translation, which reads, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end."

Well that's different.  If you compare the parts of the verse, the meanings don't quite match up, at least not to me.  "Plans to prosper you" seems very different than "thoughts of peace."  "Plans to give you hope and a future" is different than "an expected end."  Without knowing the original Greek (Hebrew?) that it was written in, I have no way of discerning what the original language actually said or meant.  So I've been dwelling on it off and on all day.  There is a certain warmness to the idea that God has plans to prosper you, to give you hope and a future.  There is a certain mystery to the idea that God wants to give you peace and an expected end.  I'm not even entirely sure what "an expected end" means!  But peace I can understand.  Peace is a new way of looking at the promise that God makes in this verse.  It tells us that no matter what is going on in our lives, God is thinking thoughts of peace about us.  Regardless of whether we feel it or not, God is thinking thoughts of peace about what is going on in our lives and our souls.

So today I have been praying for peace.  Peace for my friend who is suffering a multiple-days long migraine and stomach flu, along with her young son who also has the flu.  Peace for my friend whose father was in a tragic accident and whose life will never be the same again.  Peace for Syria.  Peace for Kenya.  Peace among the conflicts that exist in my family.  Peace for my sons*.  But most of all I am thankful that when I pray I know peace will come, regardless of whether we realize it, because of God's power and overwhelming love.  What a beautiful promise.

* Especially the fussy one who has had a pacifier stuck in his mouth almost non-stop all day so that I can have a moment of quiet...maybe whoever named it pacifier was thinking of pacify, which kind of connects to peace doesn't it?  Maybe it's just because I'm desperate for "a moment's peace"!

Field day

Now that I have my two boy's carseats in my back seat, I don't have room for Little D's car seat.  So on the days when he is with us, we can only venture as far as we can go on foot.  Fortunately there's a huge sports complex, with many wide open fields and two playgrounds, within walking distance!  I took the boys over to the soccer field on this beautiful fall morning to run some energy out.  It's amazing how much fun you can have with a couple balls, a frisbee, and bubbles:)

Here we go!  In case you can't make it out, that's a huge grin on Little D's face

Little B hysterically crying, "No Little D!  Stop!  I want to be the engine!!" (meaning, I want to be first)

This is how little boys play with soccer nets

Didn't you know?  Soccer is played with hands when you're 2:)

Snoozer

Thank goodness for fences, otherwise we would all still be running!

Looking forward to the day when he learns to actually throw the frisbee, although he had an awful lot of fun just chasing it!

Wow the wind blows bubbles far!

Bubble joy:)

Look who woke up!

Trying to get these two to sit together for a picture is not easy

Cheese!

Naptime

I'm not at all sad that summer is over now that I have this joy back again:)  In anticipation of nap time, they tucked themselves into bed all on their own...

Not looking so tired...

Hugs

Uh-oh, Baby P started crying!

Where did the boys go?

Peek a boo!!

Okay, maybe now I'm getting sleepy...

Summer's best

Well, here we are - September.  I find myself taking lots and lots of deep breathes these days.  I'm not sure if it's out of relief that this summer's over, handling anticipation of all that is to come this fall, or both!  But before summer slips away, I wanted to take a couple minutes to reflect.  Here's a little compilation of our "bests" from this summer.

Best meal: Barefoot Contessa's Israeli Couscous and Tuna Salad - Ina made this recipe on an episode of her show that I watched while in the hospital after having Baby P and it looked so good that my mom made it for our first family dinner once we came home.  I think we've had it twice since then, it's fantastic!  Don't worry about finding Italian tuna, I'm not even sure what that means, because regular old tuna works just great.  Next time you need a healthy, fresh, delicious one-dish meal, try this.  You won't be disappointed.

First bath in the big boy tub because he already outgrew the baby one!

Best song: Wagon Wheel by Darius Rucker - I cannot tell you how many times we listened to this song this summer.  Little B loves it!  He can identify it immediately whenever it comes on the radio or iPod but will only sing one line on his own..."Rock me mama like a wagon wheel, rock me mama like a wagon wheel, rock me mama like a wagon wheel..."  It's a good thing Hubby T and I like Darius Rucker!

Best fruit: Blueberries - We went blueberry picking probably four or five times while waiting for Baby P to arrive and I learned that not only is my 2 year old capable of picking blueberries (I truly wasn't sure the first time) but he loves eating them off the bush!  I don't blame him.  I also learned as a child that there is a very special deliciousness to eating a sweet berry that has been warmed by the sun.  We did more picking later in the summer when they were ripe at Mom-Mom's house further north.  Next spring we are going back and we won't stop picking until I have enough to completely fill my freezer - delicious!

Ring bearer in training!

Best new (to us) book series: Arthur - Little B has gone through many phases where different book characters were his favorite...Curious George, Amelia Bedelia, Little Critter, Biscuit, Spot, Berenstain Bears.  A couple weeks ago we discovered Arthur and he is sticking.  Little B now tells us multiple times a day to turn off the computer and Macbook at night because that's what Arthur did to save electricity in Arthur Goes Green.  I don't think Little B has any concept what being "green" is but he sure know how to do it!

Almost smiling for the camera

Best grown-up book series: Harry Potter - Knowing that I was going to spend copious amounts of time sitting-nursing-reading this summer, I decided to re-read the Harry Potter series.  It's so wonderful to read something you know you're going to enjoy.  Also, really fun to read after you've seen the movies because you forget how much more story is in the books!  Sadly I finished Book 7 last week.  Although maybe that's a good thing.  Last night I had a dream in which I was looking for something and said "Accio wand!" and it came to me and even in my dream I appreciated how cool it was to be a wizard.  Any other suggestions of series to read to make late night feedings any easier?

Best new (to us) toy: Books on tape - Yes, I do mean cassette tapes.  Any other children of the 80's remember these?  My grandma used to keep them in the backseat of her car for us...blast from my past!

Mom-Mom had a ton of these books and tapes that she was going to get rid of if we didn't want them, so we snatched them up and brought them home.  Little B has now figured out how to turn on the tape player, put a tape in, press play, and follow along as the narrator reads.  It buys me 20-30 minutes of peace every day.  Just goes to show that sometimes a good idea is timeless:)

But in the end, the summer of 2013 will always be the summer of Baby P.  He is what we will remember most.  He is the best of the best.

If I Just...

Confession: I have spent a lot of time lately wishing that things in my life were a little bit different.

If Baby P would just go to bed when I want him to and sleep through the night...

If Little B would just cooperate with our potty training efforts...

If I could just get rid of this pregnancy weight and stretched skin...

If Little B would just willingly clean up his toys...

If I could just get dinner made without needing to stop in the middle of cooking to nurse...

I don't think I'm alone (at least I hope I'm not) in knowing that while I'm very blessed, I often wish for more.  And I know this isn't a terribly healthy place to be.

But then yesterday morning I opened my Bible and read the story of Jesus speaking with the Samaritan woman..."whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4: 14)

And then this morning I opened my Bible and read the story of the bleeding woman..."When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering." (Mark 5: 27-29)

Two mornings in a row...okay Lord, I'm starting to get it.  Why am I spending all this energy on my if-I-just's when I know that those things, even if I get them, will not satisfy me?  This woman, who had been bleeding for 12 years and been completely ostracized by her community because of it, had the right idea.  If I just touch God...If I just seek God...If I just have faith, then I will feel better.  And what does Jesus say to her?

“Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” (Mark 5: 34)

Dear Lord, please help me to stop obsessing over the things that bother me about my life right now, and do a better job focusing on the one thing that will always fulfill and never let me down.

"...I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord" (Philippians 3: 8)

Goodbye vacation

Hollered from the backseat at the beginning of our car ride this morning (disclaimer: Little B didn't come up with these on his own, he was prompted by his daddy...)

"Bye-bye Mom-Mom and Papou!"

Happy Papou

Very happy Mom-Mom picking blueberries while Little B eats "tremendous mouthfuls!"

 "Bye-bye paver!"

The road outside Mom-Mom and Papou's house was repaved this week and Little B was very interested in all the heavy machinery.  But I didn't take any pictures, so instead of a backhoe, here's a much cuter picture that also shows part of our vacation.

Sleeping baby!

"Bye-bye beach!"

Loved his daddy and aunt and uncle's hand-me-down beach toys

 "Bye-bye canoe!"

Yes, my poor Mommy heart had a minor heart attack over this

"Bye-bye swings!"

What a loveable baby lump

"Bye-bye lake!"

Not quite ready for this boat yet, but very intrigued

Seven and a half hours later, we pulled into our driveway and officially wished vacation goodbye.  Thanks for a great trip Mom-Mom and Papou!!  Ugga mugga!! ;)

Little Moments

Phew!

That's how I feel whenever I have a chance to catch my breathe these days, which doesn't happen often.  I haven't been blogging because while I love sharing our life with all of you family and friends, it's not as high on the priority list as laundry, unloading the dishwasher, and attending to the many many needs of my two tiny boys.  When I think back over the last couple weeks it's mostly just a blur of little moments in between the constant cycle of nursing, diaper changing, shh'ing to sleep, nursing, diaper changing, shh'ing to sleep...

Proud big brother

Little moments like this gem that came from the backseat of the car recently..."Hey, Mommy, guess what?  Horse poop is brown and bird poop is white!"  I knew the day would come when poop would become a conversation topic, I have three boys in my house after all, but really?  Already?!  *Deep sigh

Just chillin' with the Kindle...in the baby seat...

Little moments like the other morning when I realized that Little B had gotten into the bathroom closet, opened a brand new tube of tooth paste and was using it to paint my wall.  That certainly woke me up and got me out of bed!!

Playing trains together

Little moments like the rush of joy when I wake up in the middle of the night and realize it's been nearly 7 hours since Baby P woke me up to feed....and the rush of despair the next night when I wake up and realize it's only been 2 hours since he woke me up to feed.

Gentle hug

Little moments like when Little B ran dripping wet into his brother's room and I realized that he decided to give himself a bath after his brother was done.  The lesson learned is to immediately drain the bathtub when bath is done (which I probably should have done for safety reasons anyway!)

It's exhausting having a mohawk this awesome

Little moments like when I successfully achieve bits of "life as normal," like taking Little B out grocery shopping, getting the kitchen floor washed or the family room floor vacuumed, or making it through story time at the library without either boy melting down.  Or a blog post completed!

My boys at their first baseball game for Grampa's birthday

Hang in there with me, I'll be back with more updates as I gradually figure out this new life with this precious little one added in...