Lent started almost a week ago. Normally this is marked in the church by an Ash Wednesday service, but our area was buried in snow and ice last week so the day came and went without much fanfare, at least it felt that way to me. Lent is a season in the church when we are supposed to prepare for Easter. And to be perfectly honest to you, I'm not entirely sure what that means or how to do it. The best answer I can offer, for today at least, is that it is a time to open your heart and mind to receive God more fully, in anticipation of celebrating Christ's death and resurrection on Easter morning. So, here we are, a week in, and I am determined to buckle down this year and try to maintain a higher level of spiritual awareness during this season.
I decided to give up desserts for Lent this year. I know, it seems like a cliche. It's not because I want to lose weight or break the habit of multiple sweet treats a day (although those things won't hurt). I was actually inspired by my friend who was diagnosed with gestational diabetes a few weeks ago. Once she had made the necessary life adjustments and gotten used to them, she commented that it wasn't all bad because it was forcing her to rely on God when she was upset or emotional, rather than leaning on food for comfort. This struck uncomfortably close to home, as I regularly make a not great day better by having a cup of hot chocolate or planning meals that I know I will enjoy. This emotional connection that I have to food doesn't have to be a bad thing, but I'm at a point where I think it will be healthy to sever the connection a little bit and train myself to seek God instead.
I will freely admit that this dessert fast has been stinging. When I open the bag of M&Ms to give to the boys (it would be so easy to pop a couple in my mouth too!), when my dad shows me the candy he brought back from a trip to share with me (put some in the freezer for me to have in a month?), when I anticipate making Hubby T's birthday cake and not being able to eat any (is it too legalistic to say that Sundays don't count in Lent and have a piece then?) So far I've been good at saying no but not great at using those opportunities to pray that God would fill me instead. Hopefully in the coming days I'll get better at that.
The other Lenten practice I am observing this year is to read and discuss with Hubby T a daily devotional provided by our church. The first day or two this went well. Then we started doing it at ten at night or later (thank you snow days off work for keeping us up late) and realized that was not a good idea. I look at the devotions with a seminary student's critical is-this-really-theologically-correct eye, which prompts Hubby T to question everything that I question and then we sleepily spiral into argumentative, not spiritually enriching places. I'm praying we can get on a better track with that this week. Church is a huge part of our collective life, it shouldn't be that hard for us to do a daily bible study together!
And in case you're wondering what I, the children's Christian Educator fanatic, have done to introduce the Lent concept to my own boys, the answer is (sadly) nothing. Baby P is still way too young and I didn't have any ideas prepared to do with Little B. But I did find this idea for a wreath of thorns that I love and fully intend to try next year. Although the idea is really sticking with me, so I may just start it mid Lent or during Holy Week or whenever I get to the store to buy a styrofoam wreath...
Right now the world around me is cold. March is a dreary month. Spring seems impossibly far away. I'm glad I have these practices to keep me focused on making more room for God, hoping and anticipating the ways God will show up. How are you looking to God to fill you in whatever darkness or dreariness is in your life?
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Monday, February 2, 2015
A low and a high
Sometimes I blog just so that I can record a moment. So sorry readers, this post is more for me than for you. But maybe you'll still enjoy it...
Today was a reminder of what a journey parenthood is, and how it's completely possible to go from the very lowest of lows to the very highest of highs, all in one day...
Low first, which is fitting since it came first. We spent an hour at the dentist this morning for Little B to get his teeth checked and cleaned, except he wouldn't open his mouth. I tried everything, from rationalizing to bribery to threatening punishment to calling Daddy and having him try to talk Little B into cooperating. We got nowhere. Teeth clean-ups are, in my book, not negotiable, and yet there was no way to force him to open his mouth. I felt quite defeated and frustrated by the time we walked out. Fortunately the boys knew not to push my buttons and we were able to spend a pretty pleasant morning together afterward but the failure of that visit and what to do with my anger and frustration has nagged at me all day.
Then tonight at dinner, when it was just Little B and me, I asked him why the dentist visit was so hard and upsetting. He didn't really have an answer but after a couple minutes he climbed down from his chair, came over to give me a hug and said, "Sorry Mommy." Another melt my heart moment to treasure...unprompted apologies are the best!
A little while later we were in the car driving to pick Baby P up from music class. For the last couple weeks we've been listening to all of Little B's Christian music CDs. He's been focused on one CD in particular, and the first song, "Better is One Day,". For those who aren't familiar with the song, the chorus goes like this...
"Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courtsThan thousands elsewhere"
After awhile Little B asked me what the "house" in the song was referring to, so I explained that the song was telling us that it's good to spend time in God's house and be close to God. The little 4 year old's response? "But Mommy, God is everywhere!" The theological depths that this child achieves sometimes astound and delight me and I will never think of this song the same way again.
I went away last weekend with the other women from our small group (over six years meeting together and it's the first time we moms/wives have taken a retreat for ourselves - hooray!). Inevitably we spent a lot of time talking about our kids and, also inevitably, about how to raise Godly kids. There are no easy answers, but for right now, at this very early stage of his spiritual development, I am overjoyed at the little glimpses I see of Little B starting to understand this God and this faith that Hubby T and I have built our life around and upon. I pray that someday Little B will choose to do the same. And in the meantime, while I watch and teach and guide and hope, I'll keep celebrating these little moments. I believe God does too...
Today was a reminder of what a journey parenthood is, and how it's completely possible to go from the very lowest of lows to the very highest of highs, all in one day...
Low first, which is fitting since it came first. We spent an hour at the dentist this morning for Little B to get his teeth checked and cleaned, except he wouldn't open his mouth. I tried everything, from rationalizing to bribery to threatening punishment to calling Daddy and having him try to talk Little B into cooperating. We got nowhere. Teeth clean-ups are, in my book, not negotiable, and yet there was no way to force him to open his mouth. I felt quite defeated and frustrated by the time we walked out. Fortunately the boys knew not to push my buttons and we were able to spend a pretty pleasant morning together afterward but the failure of that visit and what to do with my anger and frustration has nagged at me all day.
Then tonight at dinner, when it was just Little B and me, I asked him why the dentist visit was so hard and upsetting. He didn't really have an answer but after a couple minutes he climbed down from his chair, came over to give me a hug and said, "Sorry Mommy." Another melt my heart moment to treasure...unprompted apologies are the best!
A little while later we were in the car driving to pick Baby P up from music class. For the last couple weeks we've been listening to all of Little B's Christian music CDs. He's been focused on one CD in particular, and the first song, "Better is One Day,". For those who aren't familiar with the song, the chorus goes like this...
"Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courtsThan thousands elsewhere"
After awhile Little B asked me what the "house" in the song was referring to, so I explained that the song was telling us that it's good to spend time in God's house and be close to God. The little 4 year old's response? "But Mommy, God is everywhere!" The theological depths that this child achieves sometimes astound and delight me and I will never think of this song the same way again.
I went away last weekend with the other women from our small group (over six years meeting together and it's the first time we moms/wives have taken a retreat for ourselves - hooray!). Inevitably we spent a lot of time talking about our kids and, also inevitably, about how to raise Godly kids. There are no easy answers, but for right now, at this very early stage of his spiritual development, I am overjoyed at the little glimpses I see of Little B starting to understand this God and this faith that Hubby T and I have built our life around and upon. I pray that someday Little B will choose to do the same. And in the meantime, while I watch and teach and guide and hope, I'll keep celebrating these little moments. I believe God does too...
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