Lent

Lent started almost a week ago.  Normally this is marked in the church by an Ash Wednesday service, but our area was buried in snow and ice last week so the day came and went without much fanfare, at least it felt that way to me.  Lent is a season in the church when we are supposed to prepare for Easter.  And to be perfectly honest to you, I'm not entirely sure what that means or how to do it.  The best answer I can offer, for today at least, is that it is a time to open your heart and mind to receive God more fully, in anticipation of celebrating Christ's death and resurrection on Easter morning.  So, here we are, a week in, and I am determined to buckle down this year and try to maintain a higher level of spiritual awareness during this season.

I decided to give up desserts for Lent this year.  I know, it seems like a cliche.  It's not because I want to lose weight or break the habit of multiple sweet treats a day (although those things won't hurt).  I was actually inspired by my friend who was diagnosed with gestational diabetes a few weeks ago.  Once she had made the necessary life adjustments and gotten used to them, she commented that it wasn't all bad because it was forcing her to rely on God when she was upset or emotional, rather than leaning on food for comfort.  This struck uncomfortably close to home, as I regularly make a not great day better by having a cup of hot chocolate or planning meals that I know I will enjoy.  This emotional connection that I have to food doesn't have to be a bad thing, but I'm at a point where I think it will be healthy to sever the connection a little bit and train myself to seek God instead.

I will freely admit that this dessert fast has been stinging.  When I open the bag of M&Ms to give to the boys (it would be so easy to pop a couple in my mouth too!), when my dad shows me the candy he brought back from a trip to share with me (put some in the freezer for me to have in a month?), when I anticipate making Hubby T's birthday cake and not being able to eat any (is it too legalistic to say that Sundays don't count in Lent and have a piece then?)  So far I've been good at saying no but not great at using those opportunities to pray that God would fill me instead.  Hopefully in the coming days I'll get better at that.

The other Lenten practice I am observing this year is to read and discuss with Hubby T a daily devotional provided by our church.  The first day or two this went well.  Then we started doing it at ten at night or later (thank you snow days off work for keeping us up late) and realized that was not a good idea.  I look at the devotions with a seminary student's critical is-this-really-theologically-correct eye, which prompts Hubby T to question everything that I question and then we sleepily spiral into argumentative, not spiritually enriching places.  I'm praying we can get on a better track with that this week.  Church is a huge part of our collective life, it shouldn't be that hard for us to do a daily bible study together!

And in case you're wondering what I, the children's Christian Educator fanatic, have done to introduce the Lent concept to my own boys, the answer is (sadly) nothing.  Baby P is still way too young and I didn't have any ideas prepared to do with Little B.  But I did find this idea for a wreath of thorns that I love and fully intend to try next year.  Although the idea is really sticking with me, so I may just start it mid Lent or during Holy Week or whenever I get to the store to buy a styrofoam wreath...

Right now the world around me is cold.  March is a dreary month.  Spring seems impossibly far away.  I'm glad I have these practices to keep me focused on making more room for God, hoping and anticipating the ways God will show up.  How are you looking to God to fill you in whatever darkness or dreariness is in your life?